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Moving with children

Talking to children :

  • Explain why the move is necessary.
  • Encourage expression of feelings even if negative.
  • Be honest. Don't make up stories or use pretense to prepare children for moving
  • If children have moved before and associate unpleasant memories with it, signs of depression, tantrums, and withdrawn behavior may appear as moving day approaches.
  • Reassurance and the need for security is needed even if the move is accepted positively.
  • Children will react differently depending on age:
    • Preschool - sense of identity relies on parents, family routine, and special objects -when his favorite toys are packed up, his crib dismantled, and his parents are rushing around, he feels that he might be left behind
      School-age - concerned with how he will fit in in new surroundings.
      Teen-age - will need help tracking down organizations and groups in the new area that are involved in activities that interest him.

Summer moves:

Summer moves not as advantageous because school would be the primary
source for making friends. A move during the school year would allow the child to go directly from one social setting to another.
 

Including children in the move:

  • Include the children in making plans for the move by including them in the house hunting.
  • Help children learn about the new area by using the local chamber of commerce and other state agencies.
  • Let children help decide how their new rooms are to be arranged and decorated.
  • Take time for a last visit to places the family is fond of

After the move:

  • Encourage children to exchange addresses with their friends. Have their old friends visit them in their new home.
  • Have them call old friends to relieve post-move depression.
  • Prepare a package for each child containing favorite toys, clothing, and snacks.
  • Keep you eye on your children until they become familiar with the peculiarities.
  • Take breaks with the family - don't try to do everything at once.
  • Both parents should spend time with children to learn about new friends and the new school.
  • Follow your child's progress closely and watch for problems that don't go away with time.
  • Visit with the teacher if there are problems. Accompany the child to school to ease both your mind and the child's.
  • Younger children may react to the move by reverting to babyish actions. By reassuring your child and not scolding, they will relax and return to normal behavior.
  • Any physical abnormalities such as loss of appetite or insomnia should be referred to a doctor.
  • If moving to a radically different such as urban to rural or vice versa, be sure to caution your children